Some Remarks on Marriago

Nancy Osbourne has dealt intelligently with one facet of fear with which the married Lesbian must deal; however, she comes to the conclusion (implicit, and unstated) that the Lesbian who keeps her secret from her marriage partner must of necessity deny her own nature. I do not think this necessarily follows.

It occurs to me that the basic aspect of adjustment to such a partnership consists in convincing the partner (after, if necessary, convincing herself truthfully) that her Lesbianism does NOT necessarily consist in an insatiable or an unconquerable desire to engage in relations, either promiscuous or discreet, with members of her own sex, any more than his male nature manifests itself in an insatiable desire to conquer other women.

The married Lesbian who can say to herself, and if necessary to her husband, "I find other women interesting; that does not in any way affect our relationship," is making a mature attempt to accept the nature of the world she has chosen to live in. If she cannot say this truthfully to herself, and, in emergency, to her husband, she had better get a divorce at once.

An aid to this adjustment can occasionally be found in realizing that the Lesbian desire frequently represents a subversion or an alternate channeling of the maternal desire. I am convinced that most Lesbian women who marry do so out of a conscious or unconscious desire to bear children and thus redeem to herself the real or fancied deficiencies in the maternal relationship. While it would not be wise to assume the bearing of a child would automatically right the psychosexual orientation, I feel convinced that many women can, in a sound maternal relationship, resolve their conflicts. One of the primary causes of Lesbianism appears to be a failure as I say, either real or fancied Obin the quality of maternal love. viously a woman cannot return to childhood to be brought up more satisfactorily by her own mother. It is equally escapist to seek a mother-and-child relationship to another woman.

And I would say that of all Lesbian re-